We got a phone call this morning from one of our midwives, following up from something we mentioned at our last appointment. Sometimes it is incrediby touching how a relatively small gesture can make you feel so loved and safe and protected. I guess people often don't know what a difference they make with some well-chosen words and a bit of gentleness.
In other news:
1. Caroline is waddling! Yes, undeniably, what started out as a slight adjustment to the weight of her belly has become a distinctive waddle. When we walk somewhere, I will start out walking at a pace somewhere between "dead slow" and "stop", as my grandmother would say, and Caroline will say, "Stop sprinting!" as she waddles to catch up. This is, of course, to my purely objective eyes, absolutely beautiful and extremely funny as well.
2. We did a baby first aid course. Terrible! One of the worst workshops I've ever been to. The instructor refused to actually answer any of our questions. e.g.
Participant: What are the symptoms of an infant being poisoned?
Instructor: You should keep all poisons out of your house until the child is older.
Part: Yes, but if our baby does drink something, what should we look out for?
Instructor: You should never let your child play with poisons like detergents, etc.
Part: Yes, but if they do, when we're not there, how would we know....? etc etc.
Most of the people doing the course were pregnant women and their partners, so after the instructor got annoyed at 9-months-pregnant women who didn't want to lie down on the floor on their backs to practise the recovery position (because they couldn't get up again) and then made insulting comments about how terrible fathers are, he'd pretty much lost his audience.
At one point, after yet another joke/snide remark about how useless fathers are at childcare, one of the Dads - who had been standing at the back rocking and stroking his baby son for well over an hour - walked out. The instructor said (jokingly) "Should I take it personally?" Yes, buddy, you probably should. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. But at least everyone in the course was equally frustrated, so there was solidarity in that.
It was interesting, though, to learn how much has changed about standard first aid techniques since we did our first aid and life saving certificates. It's a little strange that how to save someone's life isn't a consistent thing, but changes with the latest trend.
3. We've started our pre-natal classes. I am pleased to report that we have mastered techniques for dealing with the pain of holding a piece of ice in our hands for one minute. After that, contractions must be a breeze...;)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
32 weeks and full of gratitude (Anna)
Today is the 32 week mark. And I must say that whatever else is wrong with life, I feel extraordinarily lucky.
I have an absolutely amazing, beautiful, smart, strong, passionate, sexy, fun, gentle, silly, interesting, soft and wonderful girl. And when I put my arms around her to hug her, our baby kicks us both. It's the most amazing feeling, which makes me feel incredible loving, peaceful and full of gratitude. I've always been hard to get moving in the morning, and now there is no motivation whatsoever. I just want to keep my chicks warm and safe.
Tomorrow, we start prenatal classes. We're both looking forward to it - any excuse to talk about the baby. And Caroline's mat. leave has been unofficially approved (not sure exactly what happens if it isn't approved - I don't think the baby cares!) There was a time when we couldn't imagine getting to the point where we were actually planning the birth and now it's here. People say to us "Oh, not long now" and "You're getting close". We are going to be parents!
Even as I write this, there is a self-consciousness (ahhh, so idealistic, so naive - she has no idea what is about to hit her once the baby is born...blah, blah, blah) but these feelings are lovely and they need to be shared.
I have an absolutely amazing, beautiful, smart, strong, passionate, sexy, fun, gentle, silly, interesting, soft and wonderful girl. And when I put my arms around her to hug her, our baby kicks us both. It's the most amazing feeling, which makes me feel incredible loving, peaceful and full of gratitude. I've always been hard to get moving in the morning, and now there is no motivation whatsoever. I just want to keep my chicks warm and safe.
Tomorrow, we start prenatal classes. We're both looking forward to it - any excuse to talk about the baby. And Caroline's mat. leave has been unofficially approved (not sure exactly what happens if it isn't approved - I don't think the baby cares!) There was a time when we couldn't imagine getting to the point where we were actually planning the birth and now it's here. People say to us "Oh, not long now" and "You're getting close". We are going to be parents!
Even as I write this, there is a self-consciousness (ahhh, so idealistic, so naive - she has no idea what is about to hit her once the baby is born...blah, blah, blah) but these feelings are lovely and they need to be shared.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I kissed a girl (Anna)
As a parent-to-be in a same-sex relationship, I find that Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl (and I liked it)" is like being a professional bunjee jumper and having to listen to someone rave about how risky it feels to jump off a stool.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
What babies need...Lebanese Baklava (Caroline)
I’ve been enjoying being visibly pregnant.
Before we left for Australia, a few people knew I was pregnant and a lot of people didn’t. While I was in Australia, I started to find people looking curiously at my belly to work out if I was pregnant, and now there’s no hiding it. (On the way to Australia, I could pull the tray down on the plane; by the time we came back, I was eating dinner on the baby’s head).
And so, the unsolicited advice and comments have begun. It’s quite fascinating. I get daily emails from colleagues telling me the optimal time for mat. leave or birthing tips.
There’s one colleague who I have always got on well with, but our relationship has been strictly professional. But now, he happily shares his son’s birth story and the difficulties of parenting a child who refuses to sleep through the night. He is adamant that we should have another baby right away – he and his wife wanted more because he thinks that kids really should have a sibling but were only allowed one due to the Chinese One Child policy. He checks in regularly to make sure I am drinking enough water and am eating and the other day he held is hand out to me as I crossed campus to make sure I didn’t slip on the ice. This is a man who doesn’t talk much about his emotions, and yet there is this passion, life and gentleness that comes out when he talks about his family. I’m really enjoying the connection. It’s like parenthood is a club. You don’t realise it’s there until you become a member and then suddenly a whole new world opens up.
Another source of support that I didn’t necessarily expect is from the student leaders I work with. There is one in particular – a 19 year devoutly staunch Roman Catholic boy – who has really surprised me. I was initially a little concerned about telling him, but his genuine interest and excitement for me is beautiful and he’s got very protective of this little baby. He comes into my office and asks “How’s baby Caroline?” (not necessarily asking me how I am first!). After the break, he came back from a trip home to Lebanon (and a trip to Rome to visit the Pope), and proclaimed “I have baklava for the baby. The baby needs good baklava.” He told me that it was very important that the baby understands that Lebanese Baklava is the best in the world. We shall have to make sure that we repeat that to our baby once it is more aware of its surroundings...
Of course, the other major source of advice is Anna. Now she emails me at work not to ask me how my day’s going but to remind me to do my kegels! It’s like having my own personal cheerleader. “Go Caroline go. You can do it!” If people at work only knew what muscles I’m exercising as they come and go from my office.
All in all, it’s been a lovely journey so far. I’m getting tired and starting to look forward to the end of this stage, but also relishing the new connections that pregnancy is fostering for us.
Before we left for Australia, a few people knew I was pregnant and a lot of people didn’t. While I was in Australia, I started to find people looking curiously at my belly to work out if I was pregnant, and now there’s no hiding it. (On the way to Australia, I could pull the tray down on the plane; by the time we came back, I was eating dinner on the baby’s head).
And so, the unsolicited advice and comments have begun. It’s quite fascinating. I get daily emails from colleagues telling me the optimal time for mat. leave or birthing tips.
There’s one colleague who I have always got on well with, but our relationship has been strictly professional. But now, he happily shares his son’s birth story and the difficulties of parenting a child who refuses to sleep through the night. He is adamant that we should have another baby right away – he and his wife wanted more because he thinks that kids really should have a sibling but were only allowed one due to the Chinese One Child policy. He checks in regularly to make sure I am drinking enough water and am eating and the other day he held is hand out to me as I crossed campus to make sure I didn’t slip on the ice. This is a man who doesn’t talk much about his emotions, and yet there is this passion, life and gentleness that comes out when he talks about his family. I’m really enjoying the connection. It’s like parenthood is a club. You don’t realise it’s there until you become a member and then suddenly a whole new world opens up.
Another source of support that I didn’t necessarily expect is from the student leaders I work with. There is one in particular – a 19 year devoutly staunch Roman Catholic boy – who has really surprised me. I was initially a little concerned about telling him, but his genuine interest and excitement for me is beautiful and he’s got very protective of this little baby. He comes into my office and asks “How’s baby Caroline?” (not necessarily asking me how I am first!). After the break, he came back from a trip home to Lebanon (and a trip to Rome to visit the Pope), and proclaimed “I have baklava for the baby. The baby needs good baklava.” He told me that it was very important that the baby understands that Lebanese Baklava is the best in the world. We shall have to make sure that we repeat that to our baby once it is more aware of its surroundings...
Of course, the other major source of advice is Anna. Now she emails me at work not to ask me how my day’s going but to remind me to do my kegels! It’s like having my own personal cheerleader. “Go Caroline go. You can do it!” If people at work only knew what muscles I’m exercising as they come and go from my office.
All in all, it’s been a lovely journey so far. I’m getting tired and starting to look forward to the end of this stage, but also relishing the new connections that pregnancy is fostering for us.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Baby kicks (Anna)
Watching the baby kicking has become quite the spectator sport. Caroline started feeling the baby kick quite early on, but it took a while for me to be able to feel it too. At first, it was just the faintest flutter - you could almost imagine that you had imagined it. But now the kicks are firm and strong. And I love it! Caroline's belly gets all wonky, too, as the baby shifts into different positions. I'm pretty sure I've had several intimate conversations with our baby's bum - conversations that I'm sure will continue after the birth :) The other night it had hiccups - Caroline's belly was jumping all over the place. How is is possible that in utero hiccups can be so cute?!
And Caroline has no qualms about using the baby to get what she wants. "Come and stroke your baby" is a surefire way to get me up, and "I'm carrying our baby" makes me putty in her hands. And of course I don't mind a bit.
It's such a beautiful thing, feeling our baby wiggling around in there. I talk to it and Caroline tells me that it knows my voice and kicks when it hears me. When our baby starts to say "mmmmm-mmmm" we'll probably tell ourselves it is saying "Mum" as well. These are the white lies that we tell ourselves as parents. Like all good white lies, they are partly true and do us a lot of good.
In the meantime, I love Caroline's full-moon belly and watching it get bigger every day. This is an amazing experience.
And Caroline has no qualms about using the baby to get what she wants. "Come and stroke your baby" is a surefire way to get me up, and "I'm carrying our baby" makes me putty in her hands. And of course I don't mind a bit.
It's such a beautiful thing, feeling our baby wiggling around in there. I talk to it and Caroline tells me that it knows my voice and kicks when it hears me. When our baby starts to say "mmmmm-mmmm" we'll probably tell ourselves it is saying "Mum" as well. These are the white lies that we tell ourselves as parents. Like all good white lies, they are partly true and do us a lot of good.
In the meantime, I love Caroline's full-moon belly and watching it get bigger every day. This is an amazing experience.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Our first post (from both of us)
Well, after lots of humming and hahhing, we've finally got around to setting up this blog. Christmas was kind of our transition - the shift from the baby coming as an abstract thing in the future to a definite event that we need to plan for. So here we are on the "other side of Christmas" with about ten weeks to go before that magical (but completely arbitrary) DUE DATE - March 18!!! So that means less of the idealized, romantic cuddling up together talking about our "parenting philosophies" (awww - so naive, so idealistic...) and more conversations about the fact that we need to buy burp cloths and start our prenatal classes.
Our house is slowly getting cluttered up. It's astounding how much space an unborn baby takes up. There's the stroller and the car seat and the crib and the dresser...not to mention Caroline's belly!
We've also been introducing the "bump" to some of its/his/her family in Australia and our friends in Canada. Many of our "special people" have now rubbed the belly for good luck, had their hand kicked by our active little one, and expressed appropriate amounts of patience and enthusiasm for our never-ending excitement about our growing family (which, strangely enough, seems to be a topic of EVERY conversation!) If they think our conversations are repetitive now, they probably can't wait until we graduate to discussions about baby poop and breastfeeding!!
So, this is our blog. We will endeavour to post to it, whether as a team or individually. And if we can get our act together, we might even include photos and video. You know the kind of thing - video of baby slobbering, sleeping, babbling, giggling or walking, accompanied by reverent proclamations from the doting parents about how this is the most beautiful, brilliant, and astounding child that has ever existed.
Our house is slowly getting cluttered up. It's astounding how much space an unborn baby takes up. There's the stroller and the car seat and the crib and the dresser...not to mention Caroline's belly!
We've also been introducing the "bump" to some of its/his/her family in Australia and our friends in Canada. Many of our "special people" have now rubbed the belly for good luck, had their hand kicked by our active little one, and expressed appropriate amounts of patience and enthusiasm for our never-ending excitement about our growing family (which, strangely enough, seems to be a topic of EVERY conversation!) If they think our conversations are repetitive now, they probably can't wait until we graduate to discussions about baby poop and breastfeeding!!
So, this is our blog. We will endeavour to post to it, whether as a team or individually. And if we can get our act together, we might even include photos and video. You know the kind of thing - video of baby slobbering, sleeping, babbling, giggling or walking, accompanied by reverent proclamations from the doting parents about how this is the most beautiful, brilliant, and astounding child that has ever existed.
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