Smile for the Camera (Anna)

Today we undertook the bizarre rite of passage that marks our status as contemporary parents in a globalized world - we had passport photos taken of Emma. Emma, by the way, is taking global citizenship to a whole new level - she is eligible for no fewer than FOUR different citizenships.

Now, the Canadian rules around passport photos for infants aren't particularly stringent. You just have to make sure that your baby's eyes (both of them) are open. And she isn't crying. And her hands aren't near her face. And her head is directly facing the camera, to ensure that both her ears are showing. And no hands, props or pillows are in view. I don't know why parents make a fuss about it. I mean, really, how hard can it be to make a month-old infant conform to all of these things?

At our first attempt, there was no way Emma was opening her eyes. But, no big loss - we figured we would use those ones for her German passport, since those rules are less particular. The other ones (Canadian, Australian and English) could wait.

When we returned to the photo shop to pick up the photos, Emma's eyes were open! We dashed in and asked them to take more. "And we mean, NOW!!" So we both crouched down on the floor in the middle of the shop, while Emma reclined on a white board (photos of young babies are taken from above, to avoid the needing-to-sit problem). I held her arms down and kept her lying on her back, while Caroline held her head and we both said stupid things in high-pitched voices to encourage her to keep her eyes open. "Ready, one to, three," Caroline said and moved her hands away, allowing for a brief, split second moment of opportunity before Emma's head lolled to one side. The photographer clicked. "My flash isn't working," he said. He tried again. Still no flash. Any moment, Emma was going to start crying. "Ready, one, two, three," Caroline said, giggling. "You can do it, Emma," I cried. Click. "I'm not sure what's wrong with my flash," the guy said. Emma's eyes started to close. "Stay awake, kiddo! Smile for the camera. Stay awake." The guy fiddled with his camera for what felt like an eternity, while we contemplated whether it would be better to leave Emma on the floor or to pick her up again. Honestly, if a baby wants to close her eyes, there's really not a lot you can do about it. Eventually, the camera was ready. The first three photos would have been lovely profile shots as Emma's head rolled to the ground, and then Emma's hands burst free from my grip and there was another shot lost. But eventually, all of our efforts coordinated and we actually got the photo. Angelic infant. Eyes open. No crying. No hands. Both ears. Just as well they didn't insist on a closed mouth as well.

On the way home, our tired, grumpy, hungry, hot and poo-ey baby had a meltdown in her car seat. And she chose this afternoon, after weeks of crying dry tears, to produce real live wet tears. So our little angelic baby had tears streaming down her cheek as she howled and howled and howled. Heartbreasking. Would have made a good photo :) But at least, she will soon be able to travel in more than just the back of a car.