Things that really shouldn't matter but do (Anna)

Today, Emma came home with a Valentine's Day card for us with "Mommy" and "Mama" written in large letters on it.

Now, on the one hand, spelling our names wrong really doesn't matter. The folks at day care were extremely well-meaning, and the piece is lovely and made (mostly) by our gorgeous daughter. When she's older, she will either spell our names correctly, or choose her own spelling, which will be fine (you can remind me I said that when it actually happens). And they included both of us, and they are tuned in to Emma's language enough to know that when she refers to Mummy and Mumma, she's talking about two different people.

And it's an easy mistake - every single one of our close friends and relatives has made the same one at some point, and we're not offended. Who has the time and energy to figure out how one kid's parents spell their pet names? We'd much rather Emma's daycare carers spend time on the important things, which doesn't include getting worried about what they write on Emma's art. Not to mention the fact that we don't have a clue what most of Emma's friends call their parents or how they spell those names.

So it's probably only because I'm sensitive to language that it matters at all. And because the premise is that Emma wrote it, even though of course we know that that's not true.

See, we deliberately chose our names. It's a "u" not an "o" because of our Australian/English backgrounds. Other people may be "mommies" but that just doesn't feel like us.

And for me, Mumma is a really important name. I spent a lot of time figuring out what felt right. There's the cultural capital of it being a form of Mum/Mom, but it also includes my initial. Nobody would be in any doubt about who Emma was talking about, but it was still unique and individual. And when I chose it, I had never met a single person anywhere in the world who called themselves Mumma and spelled it that way (that doesn't mean they don't exist; I just hadn't met any of them. And that has very recently changed, but that's another story). I don't feel like a Mama, or a Momma, I feel like a Mumma. Emma's Mumma. And Caroline is Mummy. Collectively, we're the Mums, not the Mommies or the Mummies or anything else.

So, while part of me is scoffing at myself for even thinking about it, another part of me wants to erase the words and rewrite them so that they 're right. Except of course they're written in black ink and can't be changed.

I know, I know. I can't help it. Language just matters to me.